Monthly Archives: January 2008

West Palm Journal: January 21

West Palm Journal: January 21

We’re up at 5:15 this morning for the limo at 6 which will take us to the airport for the 7:20 USAir flight to Philly, thence to West Palm. The dogs have an early breakfast and excursion, then bid a desultory goodbye and go back to sleep.

At the airport by 6:10, we go to the counter for a baggage check, since I have our boarding passes already printed. The polite but resigned clerk tells me that we are 17 pounds over the limit (which I had guessed manhandling the luggage) and offers up the option of jettisoning some things or paying a $50 penalty (which I do).

Since we’re leaving on a Monday morning, and I had a board meeting Saturday morning, I forgot to Fedex our big suitcase, and I’m annoyed with myself as we wait in another line for the luggage to go through what looks for all the world like a catafalque. Once again, the methodical employees (I guess I should relish “methodical” since they’re checking for bombs) decide we are not terrorists.

We join a third line to traverse traditional security, which barely takes five minutes, and once again we are both cleared as innocent travelers. I marvel at the accuracy of the system.

A mechanical problem out of Philly delays us by 45 minutes to West Palm. Watching two pilots and an engineer read a manual in the cockpit does nothing for my confidence level. What’s even worse, the flight offers a snack basket passed around in first class, but no meal on a three-hour flight (though you can buy box lunches back in economy). This solidified my long-held position that, with the sole exceptions domestically of Southwest Air and Continental, the airline industry is a gravitational field for the stupidest executives on earth.

The flight attendants are embarrassed, a woman across the aisle is indignant, and I’m bemused. Who makes these absurd decisions? Why are they hired, paid, and tolerated? Why is airline management so abysmally dumb? I wouldn’t trust them walking the beagle. They probably come back with the leash but not the dog, having claimed success because they painted the leash. (They are forever spending millions painting planes but not improving service.)

Last night, both the Patriots and Giants earned a place in the Superbowl. I’m a life-long Giants fan, and a 20-year Patriots fan. Talk about existentialism. I’m rooting for the Pats to complete a perfect season (and shut the intolerable old Dolphins up, who managed to go undefeated by playing almost no one with a winning record) but how can I be upset with the underdog Giants winning it all when no one gave them a chance to be anywhere near the final game?

The delay may well have cost us beach time this afternoon, and I’m not sure The Breakers will manage to have our room ready in any case, and it doesn’t. We have a late lunch overlooking the ocean.

Dinner at Renata’s in town, Italian and trendy, but just okay. Very rushed, very loud, food adequate. A single Kir Royale with the meal and I’m not anxious to linger.

The Breakers is packed and we meet someone at lunch from Rhode Island. The service is sagging under the strain here, and the hotel doesn’t seem as well run, though the property remains exquisite. For only $440 a day guests can rent a beach bungalow with bathroom and flat screen TV (and personal concierge)!

© Alan Weiss 2008. All rights reserved.

  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in Peregrinations | Leave a comment

Self-Absorption

Well, enough about me, what do you think about me? What is it about people who are so self absorbed? Listen to Alan discuss this and find out the three traits he can not tolerate.

Click on arrow below for podcast to start

 

Click Here for entire podcast series table of contents

© Alan Weiss 2008. All rights reserved.

  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in Podcast Series: The Way I See It | Leave a comment

The Great Rodent

Montevideo is the capital of the semi-exotic Uruguay, bordering Argentina. The name refers to something about “seeing a hill,” not perfectly translatable. The harbor was the site of the scuttling of the German Pocket Battleship, Graf Spee. In 1939, after the Battle of the River Plate, despite inflicting substantial damage on a superior British force, she was intentionally sunk by her captain, Admiral Langsdorff, in the neutral harbor, rather than returning to do battle. This was not a shining hour for valor, and battleships are not about discretion.

I mention all this by way of historical review, because it was reported this week that the local museum curator, perusing dusty boxes, found a skull donated to the institution decades ago. Upon closer examination, and consultation with other experts, this turned out to be the skull a new species, specifically, the largest rodent known to have lived, approximately the size of a bull!

That’s correct, prior to South America and North America being joined, this 1,800 pound gerbil roamed the pampas munching vegetation and pretty much sinking in the mud. I wondered what might have caused it any problems, but then read on to find that it was probably a primary food source of the saber-toothed tigers, which would explain a tough life. (Ultimately, it became extinct—I detest “went extinct,” which is an abomination—when the land masses joined and more agile rodents from the north invaded the place.)

Except, is it really extinct?

We have giant rodents with us today. They skulk in the corners of large organizations taking up space, munching on the assts, and not contributing anything. They stand outside the doors of independent professionals and discourage movement and innovation, generally stinking up the neighborhood. They plod around meetings, mucking up objectives, confusing issues. I see them all the time in government, eating at the foundations of decency and fairness. You can find them in education, entire herds separating students who need help from faculty which revels in lethargy and aloofness.

The big rodents are still around, and we don’t do a very good job of admitting to them or exterminating them. And the last thing we need are more agile rodents to replace them.

What we do need, which we really can’t seem to find any more, is a handful of saber-toothed tigers.

© Alan Weiss 2008. All rights reserved.

  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in Alas Babylon | Leave a comment

Non-Profit Doesn’t Mean Non-Performance

What is the reason for an organization to exist and what are some of the biggest challenges in Non-Profit organizations? Don’t let them cry or whine. Alan discusses these questions and more.

Click on arrow below for podcast to start

 

Click Here for entire podcast series table of contents

© Alan Weiss 2008. All rights reserved.

  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in Podcast Series: The Way I See It | Leave a comment

The Dog Star: They Can’t Find Me Now

(The Dog Star is a symbol of power, will, and steadfastness of purpose, and exemplifies the One who has succeeded in bridging the lower and higher consciousness. – Astrological Definition)

We took the dogs for a checkup today and, of course, they went crazy. Buddy doesn’t like the vet, but he loves human contact of any sort. Koufax loathes the vet and would rather not be touched unless he asks to be. In the hubbub, while the vet checked Buddy out, we lost track of Koufax. All of us, plus the vet’s assistant, were in a large examination room with one chair, and I’m sitting on it.

When Buddy is done, we look down and there’s Koufax, hiding under the chair! That is, sort of. The 85-pound Shepherd has managed to get his head and shoulders under the chair, but the rest of him is in plain sight taking up a good part of the room. “I wonder where Koufax went?” asked the vet, with unabashed sarcasm.

We hauled him out, and speculated that if he tried that in the wild, a raccoon might say, “I see a big, white, German Shepherd rear end sticking out from behind that bush, so I’m suggesting we do not go that way….”

While he got his ears cleaned and his nails clipped, the assistant asked, “Is this the dog who catches squirrels?” somewhat astonished.

How many of us are hiding in broad daylight, thinking we’re safe from perceived danger, but fooling only ourselves?

© Alan Weiss 2008. All rights reserved.

  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in The Dog Star | 4 Comments

Looking Back to The Future

Why are there fewer consultants today then in the early 1980s? Fewer able to improve the client’s condition and claim a fee commensurate with those rare abilities. Is there something wrong with your talent or business model? Listen to this podcast and find out.

Click on arrow below for podcast to start

 

Click Here for entire podcast series table of contents

© Alan Weiss 2008. All rights reserved.

  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in Podcast Series: The Way I See It | Leave a comment

You Sure About That?

The “experts” recently predicted a double-digit win for Barack Obama in the New Hampshire primary, which was a pretty good call with the exception that Hillary Clinton beat him by three, which was about a 13-point miss.

These pollsters were paid six-figures to predict what would happen and, presumably, applied expert techniques to find out.

Yeah, right.

One of the most important aspects of succeeding as a consultant is to realize that “experts” often aren’t, “conclusions” are often assumptions, and “authorities” are often merely people with loud voices.

Always question basic assumptions, and not merely about the content, but about the process. “The competition will launch a new product in the fourth quarter” is a content assumption, but “We’re using the best techniques to learn of voters’ intent” is a process assumption. (“Content” is the subject matter or the “what”; “process” is the methodology, or the “how.”) The closer your client is to his or her own operation, the more the client considers himself or herself to be expert in the field, and the more successful the client is, the more likely that assumptions and presumptions are wrong, through inattention or hubris.

Ask the client what the evidence is to support the conclusions. Use observed behavior to validate what you’re being told. When I was told that the environment in a Fortune 25 client was “inclusive, diverse, and non-biased,” I walked into the cafeterias and found people sitting by racial group. I then conducted focus groups and found astonishing levels of advertent and inadvertent prejudice embedded in the operation (“We promote this group on the professional side, but not as managers, since they can’t confront people.”) To the client’s credit, after some acrimonious reaction, the client initiated widespread education and change.

Consultants get sucked into client beliefs that way that stegosauruses were trapped in the La Brea Tar Pits. We’re so eager to please and so afraid of losing the business (or just not being liked) that we accept ludicrous statements, let alone nuance, that dooms our ability to succeed.

Buyers are frequently surrounded by “yes men” who shield and insulate the buyer from the corporate reality. Organizations have cultures (belief systems) which perpetuate a corporate folk lore that seldom bears a resemblance to contemporary reality. There are “hot buttons” and political issues that no one wants to frankly discuss (the “dead rat” that is never quite put on the table).

Our value as outsiders includes objectivity, best practices, fresh air, AND fearlessness. The only way to build a prosperous consulting practice is not to fear losing it.

© Alan Weiss 2008. All rights reserved.

  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in Consulting Philosophy | 4 Comments

Why Are We So Terrified?

Listen to Alan talk about the nuclear threat of years ago, the Cuban missile crisis, subprime crisis, people’s reduced confidence and our own fear of the lost of control of our lives and destiny.

Click on arrow below for podcast to start

 

Click Here for entire podcast series table of contents

© Alan Weiss 2008. All rights reserved.

  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in Podcast Series: The Way I See It | Leave a comment

What’s Ethics Got To Do With It?

Some time ago, I received a call from someone at Toyota. He said that they needed a keynote speaker for a major conference, and that someone referred him to me. He liked what he saw, but asked if I could Fedex a press kit and demo video.

When I asked what the hurry was, he said that his boss would make the decision the next day, and two of his colleagues were heavily supporting someone presented by a speakers bureau. My guy thought I was far better, but there was no time for me to talk to the decision maker. Could I do this for him?

I could and I did. The next day he presented my video and his two colleagues presented the speakers bureau recommendation. (Oddly and ironically, that bureau represented me, as well, but didn’t put me up for the job.) The buyer said to pull three people from the intended audience, show them the two videos, and let them vote.

All three voted for me. Everyone at the Toyota end shook hands, said it worked out well, and they told me to send them a contract. Then the fun began.

The bureau called me that same day and told me THEY had just landed me a job at Toyota! They said they had put me forward and they were successful. They wanted to rush me a contract. I called their bluff, told them I knew what had happened, and they weren’t getting this business (nor their commission). They then said—listen to this—”We have a relationship with the client so we’ll write the contract.”

They expected me to go through them and pay them a 30% commission! I asked if they thought that was ethical. They couldn’t grok that. “What does ethics have to do with it, it’s our client,” they said. So for not marketing me at all, and trying to deny me the job, they wanted a commission.

“No,” I pointed out, “it’s MY client. And if you interfere again and try to connive money out of this, I’ll file an ethics complaint with the National Speakers Association, and then you’ll know what ethics has to do with it.”

They backed off. But I bet they’ve obtained a lot of “business” by cheating speakers out of fees that would have come to them anyway. This is why you can’t be dependent on “middlemen,” “agents,” “brokers,” or resources who promise they’ll support you in return for a fee.

(The Toyota deal became a six-figure relationship, including video, audio, and appearances. Imagine sharing all of that with the bureau?!)

Middlemen add no value. You are the talent. The client is yours. Act like it.

© Alan Weiss 2008. All rights reserved.

  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in Business of Consulting | 4 Comments

Crying in New Hampshire

Do I have this right? Hillary Clinton never cried publicly nor showed emotion when her husband cheated on her, lied to her and the public repeatedly, and then had to make a public admission of his infidelity. But she weeps in New Hampshire when her campaign isn’t going well?

I’m just asking….

  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in Alas Babylon | 1 Comment