Looking and Acting Like A Success

I met a woman at a fund raiser the other day, and she seemed quite impressive. She was well dressed, well spoken, had written a book, and knew some heavy hitters. Then, when she explained why she was setting up a small office in another state where she spends some time, she said, “You know how expensive gas is to make that drive frequently.” Whoops. I still think she’s a very impressive woman, and I’d probably want to get to …


Spring Awakenings

There is some deep, inexorable, terrestrial alarm that awakens things around here at this time in April. The Latin “aperire” means “to open,” and that’s what’s occurring throughout my realm. (April was once the second month in the Roman calendar, but then King Pompilius added January and February and April, well, was bumped.) Eliot called April “the cruelest month” (The Wasteland), but he was a tad of a cynic to begin with when he wasn’t dealing with cats. As if …


Kimberlee Wilkerson Inducted into Hall of Fame

April 24, 2008 For Immediate Release Kimberlee Wilkerson Inducted Into Million Dollar Consultant® Hall of Fame Kimberlee Wilkerson, president of Wilkerson Consulting Group in Cedar Rapids, IA is the newest inductee into the Million Dollar Consultant® Hall of Fame, one of only ten in the world so honored. Criteria for election include: • Serving as an exemplar to others in the profession. • Manifesting the highest levels of integrity, ethics, and accountability. • Achieving significant annual revenue and profit improvement. …



Dumbest Thing in the Last Hour

It’s incredible how abysmally stupid people are in their marketing. Look at this piece of junk that came to me a few minutes ago: Hi Alan, I wanted to update you on the status of 2008 XXXXXXX Marketplace Resource Directory as I think it would be ideal fit for Summit Consulting. XXXXXXX is the fastest growing business community for corporate executives in the world, and we’re preparing to launch our Marketplace Resource Directory. Because of your company’s reputation, we’d like …


Superstition

I came home from getting coffee with the dogs and took off my baseball cap to settle down to read the newspapers. But I realized that Maria has come kind of superstition about hats on tables, so I was going to place the hat on a chair. But then I wasn’t sure whether it was hats or shoes that were bad luck on chairs. As I began to toss the hat on the floor, I noticed Buddy Beagle lurking, with …


Nobody Asked Me, But….

Nobody Asked Me, But (with all due attribution and apologies to legendary sportswriter Jimmy Cannon, who originated this)…. People just look goofy when they walk around with a blinking blue light in their ear. If they’re dressed well, they look even goofier. I told a lawyer in Atlanta that I wasn’t going to talk to him until he took it out of his ear. (Was he going to take a call during our meeting?) The customer or the client is …



Hold the Tiger

There was once a small company bothered by insects in the cellar, which occasionally buzzed out to annoy and distract the staff. So they found a pest control expert, but they demanded “natural” means to deal with the problem, no poisons. This was a highly responsible company, led by a compassionate owner. The pest control expert pointed out that the most natural remedy for the insects was a toad, since toads eat prodigious amounts of every insect imaginable, and can …