Monthly Archives: February 2010

Alan’s Monday Morning Memo – 2/15/10

Alan’s Monday Morning Memo’s mission is to help readers to thrive.

February 15, 2010—Issue #22

This week’s focus point: When people approach you with suggestions to “collaborate,” use the famous line from the movie Jerry McGuire: :”Show me the money.” Collaborations make sense with a client in mind and money on the table. They are a waste of time when purely conceptual and organized around what “may” transpire. Most conceptual collaborations mean that someone else wants something that you already have.

Monday Morning Perspective: When a top executive is selecting key associates, there are only two qualities for which almost any price is worthwhile: taste and judgment. Almost anything else can be bought by the yard. — John Gardner, writing about leadership.

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Contact information: info@summitconsulting.com
http://www.contrarianconsulting.com
ISSN 2151-0091

© Alan Weiss 2010. All rights reserved

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Speakers Session in Key West

Ed Rigsbee is conducting a three-day workshop in Key West in early December. It will focus on professional speakers who wish to grow their business, expand into other areas such as consulting, and build additional passive income. I’m opening the session and leading the first morning.

Ed has granted me six seats for people I personally bring from my communities. In addition to the normal fun and games Ed provides, I’ll be providing a special dinner, private talks, and drinks and cigars (the latter optional) for those interested. The fee is $2,500, which is the same as the event fee, there is no extra charge, you merely register directly with me. There will two more high-powered morning speakers on the next two days, afternoon practicums, hot seats, and excellent networking with top people. The venue is the Westin. Key West, as many of you know, is a rather unique place! I’ll also provide a free copy of my two upcoming books from McGraw-Hill when published: “Million Dollar Speaking” and “Million Dollar Coaching.”

You can read more here: http://www.rigsbee.com/key_west_2010.htm

Contact me at 401/884-2778 or alan@summitconsulting.com.

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Cartoonist Wanted

I’m still in need of a cartoonist who can draw strips for me featuring dogs. I’ve had some responses, but nothing has panned out.

In any case, if you know of anyone interested with experience in the area please have them drop me a line at bentleygtc@summitconsulting.com.

Thank you.

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50 Things To Do When You Turn 50

Garrison Keillor, Diane Von Furstenberg, Bobbi Brown, Suze Orman, Marianne Williamson, Erica Jong, Harold Kushner, and Alan Weiss.

We’re just some of the 50 authors allotted about six pages each in this clever book. It’s edited by Ronnie Sellers. Proceeds go to agencies whose mission is to prevent and cure cancer. The book is in soft cover but a hard cover version comes out later this year. None of us has any financial connection to the proceeds whatsoever.

Contact Robin Haywood, rhaywood@rsvp.com, and tell her I sent you. If you’re not already 50, I can guarantee your getting closer to it!

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John Weathington Interviews Alan Weiss

Listen to this outstanding podcast and to John Weathington Interviewing Dr. Alan Weiss. Learn how Alan uses the power of language through role plays and how to master the conversation.

 

and now also on iTunes

http://www.contrarianconsulting.com/john-weathington-interviews-alan-weiss/

Click Here for entire podcast series table of contents

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Toyota, the Weather, and Alan’s Rant

Apparently, Toyota has known of many of its problems for years. Deaths have occurred, and Toyota has blamed the placement of floor mats. But now, under testimony, Toyota has had to admit that it first authorized repairs and new designs two years ago, without publicizing either. The regulatory agencies have the power to severely fine and punish Toyota, including the prohibition of selling cars in the US for a while. That’s not such a bad idea. It will revive the local industry, and show that we resent people being killed by corporate cover-up. We condemned American companies for such acts (Remember exploding fuel tanks?) and if Toyota were American-based, we’d be a lot more upset. And why hasn’t the CEO of Toyota resigned yet? Where does that buck stop exactly?

Meanwhile, up here in Providence, each major local affiliate—NBC, CBS, ABC, FOX—has at least five “meteorologists” (weather people). (I’m reminded of the one great line in a short-lived TV sitcom about a TV station, where a sportscaster calls the weather woman a “weather babe.” She says, “I prefer meteorologist.” He says, “But you don’t even have a college degree.” She says, “I said I PREFER it!”) Dr. Frank Fields, the famous NBC “meteorologist,” had his degree in, I believe, optometry.

In any case, these stations up here have more “meteorologists” than they do street investigative reporters, I am not making this up. They are highly paid, have segments far longer than the content dictates, and are notoriously inaccurate. They all predicted a huge snow storm here today, and while it’s been snowing for about seven hours, we have about a three-inch accumulation. Yet schools were cancelled, meetings postponed, offices closed, people given days off, public needs unmet by closed government offices, and so on. The State of Rhode Island has probably lost $50 million to $100 million in productivity, performance, and production, because these 15 clowns read their radar, and reports, and other nonsense but divined the tea leaves incorrectly. Where is THEIR performance review? I guess it’s alongside all those stock market analysts who brag when they’re right and are never held accountable when they are (usually) wrong. Since when is snow in New England a major happening? Or maybe they believe we’re in the age of global warming?

To end on the bright side, let’s hear it for Germany, taking the lead to bail out Greece and other struggling economies before a domino effect set in. It’s nice to see people taking accountability, especially when it’s an entire government. Of course, we’re dealing with out own important matters here, such as what Sarah Palin writes on her palm, the content of SuperBowl commercials, and the President’s inability to pronounce “corpsman” correctly.

© Alan Weiss 2010. All rights reserved. Oh, heck, I’m disgusted, you can have these rights.

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Posted in Alas Babylon, DASM | 7 Comments

World Class Dumb Responses and Questions

ME: What kind of cheese do you put on the cheeseburger?
Waitress: Melted, sir.

Worker: Your father was hurt on the job this morning!
My Mother: Where is he hurt?!
Worker: On 32nd street.

Me: Drive up to coffee shop in a blue Ferrari convertible.
Customer: How do you like driving that?

Repair Center Operator: Is the line you’re calling from the one you are reporting that you cannot make calls from?

Me: I’ll start with a shrimp cocktail.
Waitress: One shrimp cocktail (and takes the rest of my order).
Ten minutes later, waitress brings a single shrimp on a plate.
Me: What’s this?
Waitress: Your shrimp.
Me: I wanted more than one shrimp in the shrimp cocktail.
Waitress: You never said that.

Hilton Hot Line Operator: Hilton Hotline, we handle any request. This is Gladys, Dr. Weiss, what request may I handle for you?
Me: There is no room service menu in my suite.
Gladys: I’m so sorry, we don’t handle that.

Unsolicited email which comes a few times a year: I’m writing to tell you that I found six typos in your latest book.
Me: And what do you expect me to do about that?
Writer: Fix them.
Me: Would you like me to come over and correct them by hand?

My wife to waiter in venerable Old Canteen Restaurant in Providence: What kind of vegetables do you have with the meal tonight?
Weary waiter: Madam, we’ve had the same vegetables for 52 years.

Woman riding in my Bentley: I hear these are very fast.
Me: They go from zero to sixty in about 4.4 seconds.
Woman: What if you don’t want to go sixty?

A man, following me to dinner and back in another car: The spoiler on your car goes up whenever a Porsche or Ferrari is near you!
Me: Yes, the car is programmed to be ready to race in the presence of certain cars.
Him: Unbelievable!!
(I was manually putting the spoiler up and down the entire trip.)

Lightening strikes our DC-10 on takeoff at Newark Airport, plane lights up like the inside of a flashbulb as a rifle shot-sound is heard. Passengers are gasping for air, praying, screaming.
Pilot, in pilot “right stuff” voice two entire minutes later: Ah, ladies and gentlemen, you may have noticed a slight bump as we gained air speed….

Clerk in appliance store, staples all forms together after carefully assembling and squaring them up: Sir, please sign the top two copies.
Me: Sure.
Clerk then pulls top copy out from under staple: This is your copy.
Me: If that is my copy, why did you staple it to the others and then rip it off?
Clerk: Because this job does not require you to think that far ahead.

© Alan Weiss 2010. All rights reserved.

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Alan’s Monday Morning Memo – 2/08/10

Alan’s Monday Morning Memo’s mission is to help readers to thrive.

February 08, 2010—Issue #21

This week’s focus point: Success always trumps perfection. My best pharmaceutical clients, for example, sought world-class chemists, but not world-class accountants. You don’t need every software upgrade, and you couldn’t begin to acquire every iPhone application. Pace yourself. Never put yourself in a position where you can “never succeed enough.” Your clients will be more than happy with success, even if it’s never perfect.

Monday Morning Perspective: …be careful with your immigration laws…we were careless with ours. — Chief Ben American Horse of the Oglala Sioux Tribe

You may subscribe and encourage others to subscribe by clicking HERE.

Privacy statement: Our subscriber lists are never rented, sold, or loaned to any other parties for any reason.

Contact information: info@summitconsulting.com
http://www.contrarianconsulting.com
ISSN 2151-0091

© Alan Weiss 2010. All rights reserved

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Wall Street Journal Misses the Boat

Today, the fourth section of the Wall Street Journal carried a lead article by Richard Greenwald, a professor and dean at Drew University in New Jersey, about how to make it as a solo consultant. At the risk of driving still more people to the article, I have to tell you that I began laughing out loud when he suggested that it’s a great idea to teach at a community college since it will enhance your consulting résumé! I can just see an executive at Boeing or JPMorgan Chase gaining confidence because you’ve taught at the community college level and you’ve got a résumé, as if you’re applying for a job!

One interviewee’s acquisition of new business cards, a “basic web site,” and a new cellphone has allowed him to reach 80% of his old salary (which was presumably somewhere in the four figures)!

If you wanted to commission an article on the pressures of working in an emergency room, wouldn’t you talk to a doctor or nurse? If you want an article on successful independent consulting, why not have one write the story, or interview a dozen? There is no mention of how to market, how to establish fees, how to build on past relationships, or how to use the Internet.

He does remind us that clients do not want an important phone conference interrupted by a nagging two-year-old. Ah, I wouldn’t have realized that.

Honest to goodness….

© Alan Weiss 2010. All rights reserved.

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Posted in Business of Consulting | 2 Comments

SuperBowl in New York

We took the train to The City, spent time with the grandchildren, and are now ensconced in the penthouse suite of the Mela Hotel, a boutique place on West 44th, within walking distance of everything. We’re ordering deli for a modest repast with the big game, accompanied by a Sonoma Merlot that management includes with a very nice gift package. Finished writing chapter 5 of Million Dollar Speaking on the way down, along with the Sunday New York Times. Finished Altar of Eden and began Wambaugh’s Hollywood Moon.

We head back after a haircut and more grandchildren time tomorrow, arriving in time for dinner in Providence before heading home.

Do you know there will be approximately 11 minutes of actual action during the entire SuperBowl? Where is Janet Jackson when you need her??!!

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