Monthly Archives: August 2012

The Adventures of Koufax and Buddy Beagle

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Posted in The Friday Funnies | 1 Comment

Episode 72: Running for Your Life

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What Mayor Bloomberg Should Control

Since His Honor manipulated the law to get a historically illegal third term,  and is clearly on his way to proclaiming himself Ming the Merciless and renaming Manhattan “Mongo,” and Flash Gordon is nowhere to be seen, perhaps with his emphasis on demanding breast feeding in hospitals and prohibiting large, sweet drinks everywhere, in his omnipetance he could focus on some important issues:

• People who talk back to movie screens. This is neither cultural nor entertaining. It’s annoying and self-absorbed.

• Stores “going out of business” for 15 years.

• Cabs that smell like a goat was recently cooked and consumed in the front seat.

• All messenger bikes, which are a greater public health hazard than a large drink of pure sugar.

• Anyone walking down a sidewalk with a family of four abreast, requiring everyone following to walk at their speed of zero miles per hour.

• Truck deliveries, which should be confined to the hours of 7 pm to 7 am, so that cross-town streets could actually be used for travel.

• Any theatrical event beginning more than six minutes late. Give everyone their money back and demand the talent provide an extra 30 minutes at the conclusion.

• Cutesy hotels with no name or number outside the door. Where are we, Marrakesh?

• City buses that block intersections. Fire the drivers, that will cure it.

• Tour buses of any kind, the hawkers who solicit riders, and all the advertising.

• Turning the lovely, iconic Tavern on yhe Green in Central Park into a generic fast food joint with a take-out window. Even the zoo animals won’t go there.

• Happy-talk news, where everyone is having a good time laughing at each other’s wit, there’s a sex-kitten meteorologist or trafficologist, the sports guy never stops grinning, and the news is lost because a light drizzle is the main story of the morning.

• His ego.

I would also suggest that if all women with small children in movies were forced to breast feed, there would be a lot less talking to the screen.

© Alan Weiss 2012. All rights reserved.

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Posted in In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking | 4 Comments

Alan’s Monday Morning Memo – 8/27/12

August 27, 2012—Issue #153

This week’s focus point: In the Little League World Series U.S. finals two days ago, Tennessee had a ten-run lead going into the bottom of the final inning. But California never gave up, and scored ten runs to tie the game! But in the top of the first extra inning, Tennessee scored nine more runs and finally prevailed. The kids and coaches on both sides never gave up, never complained, never became victims. They just kept swinging the bats. If you’re not in the game, you can’t swing the bat, and if you can’t swing the bat, you can’t get on base, and if you can’t get on base, you cannot score. That applies to your career and mine, as well. If we sit on the sidelines carping and whining, we can become excellent victims, but we’ll never score. It would be nice to think we can be as smart and mature as 12-year-old kids.

Monday Morning Perspective: Don’t pity the martyrs. The like the job. — Humorist George Ade

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© Alan Weiss 2012. All rights reserved

I remember a meeting with a boutique consulting firm that had fallen on hard times. The debate was whether or not to sell their magnificent conference table. “Where would clients sit?” asked one partner. “We have no clients,” stated the advocate of selling. You can’t cut your way to renewal or success. Top line growth is the key to bottom line achievement, for you and for your clients. Today is the time to invest in the future. Once you cut muscle, you’re powerless.
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Many of you have been inquiring about Koufax after his major back surgery of a couple of months ago. Koufax goes for rehabilitation twice a week and acupuncture once every two weeks. He is slowly regaining his strength. He gets around the house with a harness, and with our help has his usual life (I chase squirrels with him). He is otherwise very healthy, his fur has grown back, and his appetite is great. It’s now a matter of regaining the muscle tone and confidence to use his rear legs independently.

In the movie here you see him in his underwater treadmill. He achieved in this session a personal best of 14 minutes without a break. He pulls two stunts on the treadmill. When he thinks the therapist isn’t watching, he pulls up his rear legs and lets them float, using only his front legs to walk. The therapists has to yell, “Stop floating!!” He also tries to drink the water in the tank, figuring that if he can drink it all he will no longer be immersed in it.

In the still shot you can see Buddy Beagle providing his usual supervision.

Thanks for all your good thoughts, Koufax is progressing. He turned 11 in July and is in very good shape according to his doctors. So his rehab regimen will continue. Of course, he still accompanies me and Buddy for coffee in the mornings.

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Posted in The Best of Life | 1 Comment

GROW Hosted by IMC

As many of you know, I am a Fellow in the Institute of Management Consultants (IMC), their highest honor. They are hosting a very exciting conference, called “GROW,” in Orlando (thankfully, finally out of Reno!)

I was asked to keynote, but I will be out of the country. You’ll see a fine group of speakers on the agenda. Two people who are active in my community, Gayle Carson and Todd Ordal, are co-chairs.

If you’re interested in building your consulting skills, hearing some excellent business speakers, and networking with your colleagues, here are the details and registration:

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Young, uninvited visitor

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The Adventures of Koufax and Buddy Beagle

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Common Sense Consulting™ Weekly Sample Video

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Innovation from Bentley

We decided my wife’s car needed some extra horsepower.

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