This is Alan Weiss with a major consulting opportunity. To find out … well, you know the routine. Just click on the arrow to play.
and now also on iTunes 
http://www.contrarianconsulting.com/airline-consulting/
Click Here for entire podcast series table of contents
Alan,
I tried emailing you at your client’s address, but it bounced back.
That is the first test to see if you are a real consultant.
Sounds like a world-class consulting opportunity! I’ll send in my references.
email me at
simon@consulting101fordummiesandnitwits.com
This sounds pretty easy, I suggest we study the color to repaint the aircraft as a first step.
Absolutely brilliant, can I ask regarding the green credentials of the project?
jim@wrapusallupincottonwool.com
The V.I.C.T.I.M. project managers may have overlooked the obvious. Since the vast majority of airline passengers take round trips, winding up where they began after only a few days or weeks, why not simply remove the travel component and replace it with the valium and/or vodka? By eliminating the airplanes, security could be outsourced to Mumbai.
We’re seeing a great team align here! The project is totally green–the plane is powered by carbon emissions.
So many great thoughts come to mind! What an excellent opportunity. Is the vodka considered kosher for those whose religious beliefs restrict valium?
Great stuff, Alan. I feel fortunate that I don’t have to fly much these days. Good luck in your travels, and with your search for a suitable consultant. There are probably – truly – many people who are well suited for this engagement. Perhaps some ex-TSA employees who no longer meet the new “medical” requirements can begin their lucrative consulting careers now.
Keep up the good work, and thanks for kicking off a cold, snowy day with a good start.
The Israelis have this down.
http://www.thestar.com/News/World/article/744426
At Ben Gurion airport in Tel Aviv, screening is done in 30 minutes. The key? Look passengers in the eye.
This is such a cluster.., well you know, here.
Hilarious!
At Ben Gurion they’re not afraid to say, “This person looks like a terrorist.”
Perhaps we could surgically remove the arms and legs of frequent fliers so we could stack them on trays. In addition, without limbs the passengers will present a much reduced security risk.
The tag line could be, “I’d give an arm and a leg to fly Bete Noire.”
Apparently, Boeing is developing a special gas to replace the oxygen currently used in the oxygen masks. All passengers will be required to inhale at the beginning of the flight, to ensure a solid sleep for the duration. Once this is complete, the passengers can then be sorted and stacked according to size in the cargo area.
That gas is already in use and has been tested in airport public restrooms around the world.
How about this to help morale – a plain white t-shirt with the words, “I flew Alan Air and Survived!” upon departing? Not only helps morale but acts as a marketing piece as well. The REV is unlimited!
I wonder if Victoria’s Secret and Hanes will come out with lines of underwear for going through the scans.
Or we can all join the “Holographic World,” and no one has to go anywhere, or all meetings, celebrations and funerals can be held in Second Life, and no one will need their first life anymore.
What about all those hidden tattoos?
That is out of scope, we will have to discuss the fee to cover that.
Tattoos can be a real problem. as well as piercing. I suppose the airline will need a consultant for what kind of tattoos are allowed.