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On the TV show Downton Abbey, one of the earl’s nephews wants to let his butler go because he feels the role is unnecessary and demeaning. The earl asks him, “Why would you want to deprive someone of a job they take pride in and are quite good at?”

At my favorite restaurants, the managers call me “Dr. Weiss” or “Mr. Weiss,” and the bartenders call me “Alan.” I once thought that was odd, but now I get it, and I have no need to change what’s comfortable for others.

I coach a world-famous surgeon who has also been my doctor prior to the coaching. I have habitually called him “doctor” (which I still do in front of anyone else) but now I use his first name. It takes some getting used to!

I’ve met the Bishop of Providence several times. If I had to call him “Your Excellency” I think it would hinder conversation!

We need to do what’s comfortable and not stand on formalities for their own sake. it’s one of the reasons that, when I see 14 initials after someone’s name, I hold on tighter to my wallet.

Written by

Alan Weiss is a consultant, speaker, and author of over 60 books. His consulting firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., has attracted clients from over 500 leading organizations around the world.

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