Facing It on Facebook

I just spent a record ten consecutive minutes on Facebook, because people were commenting on my new photo with my dogs and Colleen Francis had posted some interesting stuff.

As I wandered around, I noticed a new “fad” (beyond those bizarre women who keep posting new “glam shots” to get “liked” by the same 13 guys who tell them they look good every time): People are posting testimonials and compliments they’ve purportedly received! They are applauding themselves!

“Here’s what the Association of Rodeo Clowns said about me: ‘He’s the best we’ve ever had at walking onto the stage from the right.'” And many mention some complete unknown with whom they’ve “shared a stage”: “Here is Nutso Ponzi, the famed ‘Get Rich Eating Cereal’ guru whom I had the luxury of following at the National Ergot Convention.”

I’m sorry, but someone has to start selling “How to Get A Life” because Facebook apparently sucks the life out of you.

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of one hand clapping.

© Alan Weiss 2013

6 thoughts on “Facing It on Facebook

  1. Please like me. See my new photo? I’m actually on top of Mt. Everest as UFOs pass by, but the hell with that, do you like my shirt?

  2. I can see it now.
    Alan with a fish-lipped pucker pose, a finger suggestively pointing towards his mouth.
    The image begs for me to hit the ‘like’ button.

  3. I’m posting my latest plaque for my office wall:

    “They can knock me down and knock me out, but I can still be a footrest for others. Standing on your own two feet isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” — Delores Octave, famous motivational speaker and massage therapist.

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