The Bully

I received a book order for about $80 from New Zealand. The credit card was rejected. When I wrote to the purchaser about this he responded with invective, claiming my processing system was “from the 80s,” even though it was his bank denying the transaction.

When I confronted him, and told him what he could do with his order which I’d now never fulfill, he told me he was a “man of God” and that I didn’t understand his sarcasm, and this was my fault and my reaction was wrong. He never apologized, of course.

This is what bullies do when confronted, since bullies try to bring you down to their own perceived level of inferiority (most bullies were abused in one way or another as children). Confrontation and the refusal to be intimidated turns them into instant “victims.” They didn’t mean it, it was your misunderstanding, not their action.

Disempower the bully, but then move on, Short of psychotherapy, this is not a curable condition, just one that you can refuse to further enable.

One thought on “The Bully

  1. Bullies are “bleep” in disguise.

    A few months ago, I alerted a would-be co-author that I simply would not play follow-up on action items that she agreed to.

    Part of her reply insinuated that I was not spiritual enough and that she tried to surround herself with people who would give her grace, etc.

    I immediately severed ties, personally and professionally, one of the kindest acts (for her and myself) I’ve performed acts all year!!!

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