The Oscars

The Oscars

• Ellen looked like she was doing improve at a bad club, a total bomb.

• I remember watching when I was young and looking at movie stars—Elizabeth Taylor, Cary Grant, Spencer Tracy, Clark Gable, Bette Davis. Now you see people who wouldn’t be chosen for Dancing With the Stars (Dancing With the Vaguely Familiar).

• Lara Spencer looked as though she received electric shock therapy. That’s what professional makeup and hair stylists create?

• The night’s highlight was the salute to those who had passed away. And a couple of them were alive when the show began.

• The nominees need to have a note in their gift kits reminding them that this is not the Nobel Peace Prize. (That ceremony is much shorter.)

• “Gravity” lacked gravitas.

• Who was the woman sitting on stage with her shoes next to her who couldn’t sing accompanied by the guy who couldn’t play the guitar and couldn’t sing? And he had ear plugs in both ears, which must have been playing white noise.

• Have you ever heard applause die so fast once a winner’s name was announced? It was like someone cut the sound.

• Kim Novak? Just frightening. Those cosmetic surgeons ought to be arrested.

• The Red Carpet show is like watching a grammar school play. You’re hoping it will be entertaining for the right reasons, but it turns out being entertaining for the wrong reasons.

• “Who are you wearing?” makes me cringe.

• If the Russians can successfully stage an Olympics over 20 venues, hundreds of square miles, with thousands of athletes from a hundred countries, why can’t Hollywood stage a two-hour awards ceremony that hands out awards to people already seated in close proximity?

• “The Walking Dead” wasn’t merely competition on another channel, it was livelier and held more hope for our future.


© Alan Weiss 2014

4 thoughts on “The Oscars

  1. I think the last time I watched the Oscars Johnny Carlson hosted. Don’t really remembered what caused me to stop watching perhaps it was the fact it’s an incredibly boring show. It just doesn’t live up to the weeklong hype.

    The presenters are stiff and for folks who are paid good money to remember reams of dialog seem to have an incredibly hard time reading correctly from a teleprompter.

    Reruns of Law and Order SVU were much more entatining.

    • (That little bit of maths when making a comment once in a while must be assisting my mental agility.)

      The fact that highly paid movie stars have difficulty reading fluently and believably from a teleprompter probably explains why certain international luminaries are considered superstars and powerful intellectuals by the general public for their ability to read off those screens.

  2. I actually comment more often, but get the math wrong.

    Obama was hailed as a great speaker because he could smoothly read a teleprompter, but extemporaneously, the true test, he’s pretty awful. If you can’t deliver a 30-second thank you for an award for which you’re nominated, you’re just a pretty face, not a talented artist.

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