In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking

In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking

In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking

• I bank at Citizens Bank, owned by Royal Bank of Scotland, which is number 100 on the Global 500 (formerly #55 before it became entangled in a financial morass). It has nearly 150,000 employees, presumably some of whom are very smart, just considering the odds. Yet when I sent a wire transfer to Australia today to pay a commission, I had to show up at the branch in person. The assistant branch manager had to take his time to make the proper inputs on his computer—about 10 minutes—AND THEN had to call the “international room” and tell them EXACTLY what he had already input, spelling all the names, costing another 10 minutes. A sign nearby assured me that my accounts were insured by the FDIC to “at least $250,000.” Suddenly, that doesn’t seem like enough. Is anyone out there still wondering why banks are in trouble?

• I like Amex. I’m a very significant customer, and first became a “member” in 1972. But on one of my cards, they did something completely inappropriate, and my reasoning escaped everyone to whom I spoke, including supervisors. “Okay,” I said, “I’m paying off the entire balance on this card in January, cancelling the card, and calling your executive offices on Monday to them why.” Before the day was out on Sunday, I received a call on my home phone, asking if I might delay any actions until Tuesday. “Sure,” I said. Tuesday morning, that same manager called back with a complete resolution along the lines I had suggested. When I asked, kidding, for her home number when she inquired if I needed anything else, she did give me her personal direct line. If organizations empowered people at the front line, we all could have saved the time.

• Visa has this ridiculous offering of a “black card” directly derivative of the Amex quite impressive black card (officially:  Centurion Card, and it is made of titanium, and it’s sort of like a credit card Bentley). The Visa version is plastic (they claim it has carbon in it!), comes with low limits, and has a very amateur service and staffing backup. If you can’t be more original than that, maybe you’re better off with your money in Citizens Bank.

▪   Barbara Walters, in a shocking display of cluelessness, named these people the “most fascinating of 2011”: Steve Jobs, Simon Cowell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Derek Jeter, Donald Trump, Katy Perry, Pippa Middleton, Amanda Knox, Herman Cain, and the Kardashian family. The woman obviously leads a sheltered life. The only fascinating person here is Steve Jobs, not one other person deserves to be on any list he’s on, and he’s deceased! (Some of you will have to Google at least a couple of these folks. Donald Trump is about as fascinating as a used car sales person, but not as likeable.)

• TED (http://www.ted.com/) is an excellent example of a brand diluting itself through careless overexpansion. The quality of the presenters has diminished, and the “regional” conference videos are often embarrassing. Recently, I watched the first couple of minutes of poor camera angles on a guy with a microphone in one hand writing on an easel with his other hand, telling us he’s found the secret of the great innovators: “what, why, and how.” His visual was three circles. That’s a long stretch from brilliant people like Dan Gilbert talking about synthetic happiness (who first attracted me to the site). When I posted a comment critiquing a speaker’s content and delivery, it was removed and I was told, “We don’t allow criticisms of our speakers.” Oh, I thought this was supposed to be an intellectually stimulating place, not a self-defensive one.

• Holiday Trees. Really?

© Alan Weiss 2011. All rights reserved.