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Olympic Zen

Olympic Zen

I have three new books I’m writing; four new global initiatives; trips to New York, Florida, and Bora Bora to coordinate; and six new restaurants I want to try. However, I’m distracted by a nagging concern.

Is ice skating a sport?

Can there be any activity classified as a sport where men wear feathers and women wear, well, as little as possible? Pole dancing isn’t a sport, though the Times had an article this past Sunday that there’s a movement in that direction. I would assume that’s from yoga classes and not Bert’s Gentlemen’s Clubs, Inc.

I realize that there’s a great deal of athleticism in skating, what with spins and leaps, although most of it is invisible, except to hummingbirds. Is it really a sport if it takes slow-motion replay to appreciate it? (Was that a triple, quad, or dodecagon?) Then I realized that hockey is a sport, and if you’re seriously dealing with a beer during the game you can easily miss a goal, and it’s more than likely to be the only goal. Which probably explains the interest in curling, during which you could read War and Peace and never miss any action. But can an activity with brooms be a sport? Well, cricket players wear sweaters. But, I digress.

I’ve been on the board of a ballet, and watching the dancers I realize that they are far better conditioned than any athletes, and they also jump and leap. But no one considers dance a sport. We’re not about to see the Royal Ballet competing in London in 2012.

Hold on, there’s ice dancing. That’s a sport. But again, we’re talking costumes and music. And all that sultry stuff, with tangos, and embraces, and meaningful eye batting. We’re almost back to Bert’s clubs.

Yet you can’t ignore all those jumps and leaps. What compares to ice skating that is unarguably a sport? Gymnastics resembles it, and that’s clearly a sport. Yet you don’t see fancy outfits with fur and feathers on gymnasts, although gymnasts’ attire is very skimpy, but that’s okay because everyone is 12 years old, lying about being 14. Yet gymnasts don’t work in pairs and the teams are people on different apparatuses. Who does things as pairs in athletics, akin to ice skating pairs?

Synchronized swimming! There’s a sport that involves people acting in concert, doing the same thing concurrently. No, wait: That’s been disqualified as an Olympic sport. That won’t do.

I guess one could judge by the fitness of the participants. In that case, I’d be inclined to keep ice skating as a sport, except for all that crying, win or lose. Grown men weeping like babies. Coaches crying. What’s that all about? And the flowers tossed all over. Can you imagine throwing flowers to a wrestler or basketball player? You’d be the one crying.

And if we went by fitness, well, then clearly golf and bowling are not sports. Although bowlers at least drink beer like people watching hockey, which I know is a sport. Except when it’s a fight.

© Alan Weiss 2010. All rights reserved.

Written by

Alan Weiss is a consultant, speaker, and author of over 60 books. His consulting firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., has attracted clients from over 500 leading organizations around the world.

Comments: 10

  • Alan Weiss

    March 1, 2010

    Then you must consider sex a sport!!

  • Libby Wagner

    March 1, 2010

    I know you and Stuart Cross are in cahoots about this notion. We discussed exactly this during the breaks of the Canada vs. U.S. hockey game last night, while in England, and he concluded first there was too much subjectivity in the scoring, and then under protest resorted to, “it’s set to music,” which definitely makes it non-sport-like!

  • Mattison Grey

    March 1, 2010

    Alan
    Very interesting observation. I never thought I liked ice dancing, but this Olympics I found it more intriguing than the figure skating. I like all sports, in fact in my Twitter profile I call my self a sports nut. My definition of a sport? A physical activity that has a beginning, middle and an end and some sort of scoring system: a score. Ballet Dancing = no score. Competitive ballet dancing? That does sound intriguing.

  • Mattison Grey

    March 1, 2010

    I suppose it could be. 🙂

  • Alan Weiss

    March 1, 2010

    Well, that’s still sort of like sex.

  • kim wilkerson

    March 1, 2010

    Are you suggesting sex is NOT a sport?
    (regardless of with or without music. . . )

  • Garry Beavis

    March 2, 2010

    Poker tournaments are shown on ESPN. Is this a sport – I think not. Yet some consider Chess and hot dog eating contests as ‘sports’.

  • Alan Weiss

    March 2, 2010

    Sex is a sport only if it’s in pairs. The sole performers wouldn’t count, with or without music.

    When poker playing is a sport and poker players are athletes, then computer programmers will be sexy and lawyers will start to leave big tips. That ain’t happening.

  • Jeffrey Summers

    March 2, 2010

    Now that’s what I’m talking about!

  • Pat O'Mallon

    March 2, 2010

    If you delete the word “sport” and insert the word “competition” then many of those activities make a bit more sense. Although sex as a sport / competition? Not so sure about that 🙂

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