In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking

• With melting, sloppy conditions in Sochi, it’s pretty apparent that the Winter Olympics should have been held in New Jersey. Couldn’t Governor Christie have caused some lane closures over there?

• If you’re wondering about the idiotic decision to keep the New York City schools open as the blizzard hit, just consider that Mayor de Blasio, like any Democrat in that city, is primarily elected by the unions, and the teachers union is among the strongest. Teachers don’t want to spend one, single extra day in school at the end of the term in the summer, which would have eventuated if snow had closed them now. If you think either teachers unions or politicians have kids foremost in mind, you’re from another era.

• Who on earth cares about the protocol surrounding the French president showing up at the White House without a wife, escort, or date? Just ask him to sit down and eat. It’s not going to be as good as he’s accustomed to, so get over it.

• The contrast between Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez could not be any greater. It’s antipodal.

• Jay Leno went out with class. Jimmy Fallon will not draw his ratings after the initial honeymoon and will probably be done inside of two years. He suffers from Conan O’Brienism: He’s not funny.

• Is it true that the new season of The Walking Dead takes place in Congress?

• I’ve about had enough of “final destination” announced by flight attendants on landing. A destination is final, which is why we call it a “destination.”

• Atlanta was smart enough to shut down this time. Apparently, the Carolinas and Virginia think they’re in a different climate zone, and learned nothing.

• The entire Bruce Jenner thing shouldn’t be brought up on either side of two hours of a meal.

• In the not-too-distant future, there will only be three, hard-copy, daily newspapers: Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and USAToday. You will simply read the local editions of one or more unless you’re reading electronically.

• Did you see where billionaire Carl Perkins claims that the rich should have more votes than the poor, like shareholders in a corporation? That’s a funny bit. (He IS kidding, right?)

• A stunning cocktail waitress at the Blue Bar in the Fontainebleau apologizes for not being faster, but says, “I can’t understand it, there are so many more people at my stations than others.” I tip more for humility.

© Alan Weiss 2014


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