In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking


• Why is it that people leaving a theater stop at the bottom of the stairs or in the doorways to chat? Are they practicing being corks?

• Why do people change the temperature in a public room or conveyance when a single person—usually inappropriately dressed or smothered in self-absorption—requests it be changed?

• People driving with their dogs on their laps—looking out the driver’s window and obscuring the view—might as well be doing crossword puzzles at 40 miles per hour.

• If you run a seasonal business, like ice cream or lemonade, why would you have highly restrictive hours? Isn’t the point to serve as many customers as you can while you can?

• Deep fried hot dogs are probably worse than crack cocaine for your health, but they are the best dogs I’ve ever eaten. Try Hiram’s in Fort Lee, NJ.

• There seems to be more concern about who the new American Idol judges will be than who the next Supreme Court justice will be.

• Speaking of which, if Piers Morgan has any discernable talent other than being nasty and snide, I’ve missed it completely. (He has a history of questionable financial deals, inappropriate claims, and being fired in the UK journalism business.)

• Airports are made for airplanes, not people. Nothing will improve until and unless that philosophy changes.

• How often have you ever used (and could you even locate) those extended warranties that are pushed at you when buying an appliance or television? These are usually much higher profit items for the company than the actual product.

• I’m going to try to be an exception to what appears to be a rule of nature: The older the person the stronger the perfume and the larger the car.

• Speed reading is a nice concept but, unfortunately, too many people don’t even hit moderate comprehension, even reading slowly.

• “Volunteer” is not a synonym for “amateur.” If you volunteer you should do the job competently and conscientiously. Not being paid doesn’t justify missing deadlines, rudeness, and mediocre work.

• Having hundreds of “apps” is like having hundreds of numbers on speed dial. When you need a separate list to help you remember what’s where, I’m thinking you’re defeating the purpose.

• If you chose to ignore all unsolicited feedback, in worst case you might have some lettuce in your teeth longer than necessary, but your life will hardly be diminished at all.

• The people driving in the left lane who go slower than traffic in the right lanes, but who speed up to prevent you from moving ahead when you try to pass them, are not very happy people, I’m betting.

• If a few typos in a book ruin the value of the content for you, then I’m sorry to tell you there are errors in the Declaration of Independence and you ought to start making plans to leave the country.

© Alan Weiss 2010. All rights reserved.

7 thoughts on “In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking

  1. Alan,

    Since when has talent ever been a pre-condition for securing employment on a television show? You Americans of all people should know this. It is also regarde in Europe as a badge of honour if you have been fired from a newspaper.

  2. I doubt that his financial entanglements are much of a badge of honor. I’m not defending American reality television, but both American Idol and America’s Got Talent are UK imports. I’m simply saying you could have at least kept Piers Morgan at home.

  3. No Alan,

    We thought it better to export him to you why should we have all the bad luck? We are now ever more cynical regarding financial entanglements on this side of the pond, observe our politicians?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *