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Observations of My Mentor

Famous lines from the lovely Maria:

1. To a woman flirting with me at a convention, while Maria was standing next to me: “Save your breath, Alan prefers women with less facial hair than he has.”

2. To a woman protesting my gag introduction that I’m afraid to go to North Dakota, on the basis that it is derogatory to her, as a North Dakotan: “Then why don’t you leave and give your seat to someone else in this standing-room-only crowd?”

3. At a golf tournament she is running for one of her charities, a heavy, balding, sweaty, loud golfer asks her if she’d like to go for a drink. She declines.

Him: Come on, honey, you know I have a big boat.
Her: Trust me, your boat’s not big enough.

© Alan Weiss 2007. All rights reserved.

Posted by Alan Weiss on July 16th, 2007 filed in Alas Babylon |

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