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In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking…

In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking…

 

  • I used to think anyone with a baseball cap on backwards who was over 16 years of age looked idiotic. I was wrong, and I apologize. Anyone over 6 years of age looks idiotic.
  • When I see someone covered in tattoos, piercings, and strangely colored hair, somehow I don’t associate them with a new hire for my company or as a choice for my financial analyst.
  • If you want to see an extraordinarily aging demographic, take a look at the bikers on the roads. A lot of them are turning to “trikes” because they can no longer straddle a motorcycle or control it well.
  • A sport is not a sport when you wear a sweater while engaged in it, and the latest “fixing” scandal in cricket is astounding, because I’d think if it were fixed it would be a hell of a lot more interesting.
  • I believe in freedom of protest and expression, but the brouhaha over professional football players kneeling during the national anthem is tiresome. And I do wonder what would happen if executives making millions each, in front of their CEO and board, began insulting the customers.
  • When you drive a convertible with the top down but the windows up and a windscreen in place, the car should be confiscated and given to someone who knows how to use it.
  • Most massive public works projects remind me of the King of Sweden who commissioned the largest, most powerful ship-of-the-line in the world, beyond any contemporary dimensions. When it slid down the ways into the water it promptly turned over and sank.
  • How is the despicable Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi Scheme any different from the government’s social security system?
  • What on earth were ABC executives thinking when they rehired Rosanne Barr? That’s like the fox saying, “No worries, I’ll guard the henhouse, I’ve become vegan.”
  • I’ve never yet seen a consumer survey that asked the right questions. That’s because the company asking is confused about what it should be learning.
  • Bra straps showing on any woman’s outfit are unappealing, and should never even be attempted by anyone over 25. When this is done at dressy events I just assume that some people have zero taste.
  • Dropping an “f-bomb” in a book title or podcast or any other inappropriate place isn’t original or provocative. It’s become boring, and suggests to me the author has no worthwhile points so has to resort to vulgarity, as if it’s something new.
  • I find that doctors are almost always polite. I find their office staffs are too often completely clueless about service and courtesy, and treat patients like prisoners.
  • I begin all my events exactly on time. If you’re not there yet, tough. And if you decide that when I begin it’s time for you to get up and go get coffee, then I feel I have license to mock you. “There go the professional organizers.”
Written by

Alan Weiss is a consultant, speaker, and author of over 60 books. His consulting firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., has attracted clients from over 500 leading organizations around the world.

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